Charles Barkley Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden is sexual chocolate

alpha.pngBy Alpha
(good morning g1’s)


Ya know, fuck our usual protagonists. Metro sexual pretty boys and emotional brooding introverts have gone the way of cliche. Would you really depend on these types of characters to save the world from impending destruction? I think not. If I had to pick someone to stand behind in such a dire time, I would want to support a real man, a man’s man, a man like, like, like…. CHARLES BARKLEY! I could definitely see myself supporting a man like Sir Charles. A bullshit free, tough son of a bitch, with some heavy feet and a heavier tongue. Come to think of it, it’s a very rare thing to witness a main RPG protagonist these days with that type of personality. I think it’s safe to say that Square won’t be licensing Charles’s name anytime soon.

Charles Barkley Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, Chapter 1 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa fucked me tenderly. It told me that I was beautiful, it whispered in my ear as it tenderly held itself close to my body, and it was sincere, as it excited me like no other game has before. Shut up and Jam: Gaiden in a word was spectacular! My past however, enhanced the experience to a biased and personally pleasurable level. For I was once a basketball junkie. Back in the mid 90’s, I would play basketball at school, at the church I grew up at, at the park, and anywhere really that I could play. I would dream about playing basketball, I would read about all of the players, I’d watch the games, and collect the cards. At a time, basketball was my life.
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My magic bean has grown tall for Majora’s Mask

alpha.pngBy Alpha
(more ehhh……)


What can I say about the Legend of Zelda that hasn’t been said before? The series has very rarely ever let me down. Every Zelda title I have ever purchased has at least lived up to it’s price. The series has helped inspire and just hands down elevate the world of video games. From kids dressing up as Link for Halloween to those nerdy mutha fuckas babbling about it’s genius design or it’s “bah bah bad ovverratted gaynezz”, the Legend of Zelda is quite the uhhhh….legend (laugh).

With all of that said, the Legend of Zelda rarely departs from it’s formula. The series manages to keep itself somewhat fresh with each new installment with updated graphics and gameplay mechanics (Ex. “Wow mom, I can finally swing a sword pressing the A button on horseback. I mean, using a bow with a C button was neato, but this is totally well, gollyriffic.”). I’m not saying this is horrible, at least Nintendo tries to change up a few things up. Essentially though, we are all just playing the same game over and over. Then again, that is why most of us have stuck to the series.
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Playing with yourself: Persona 3

alpha.pngBy Alpha


Well hell, I guess motivation has hit me at quite an awkward time. There’s only 2 days left for this musing. Despite it, I think I’ll be able to write something out. So yes, “Playing With Yourself”, quite an easy phrase to poke fun at as an innuendo. We all know that it’s quite funny, but I’ll try my best to restrain from taking the low road.

I enjoy playing games with others, and I usually have a much more exciting and fun time doing so then playing alone. For me, the outside experience surrounding the game is what I take in and cherish most when I play a game with others. A one player game however tends to pull me inside, the experience within the game. Multiplayer or not, memories are made despite the number of folks on my couch.

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Misc Media: Stop motion paper Rock Man

alpha.pngBy Furia

Well, here it is folks. One top notch article for the week. I slaved hours and hours writing out a Misc. Media for all of you. I may be busy playing video games and enjoying each of my 40 hour work weeks, but I cleared some time to write this baby up.

Stop motion, paper, Mega Man; these are words that best describe the video I have attached to this wonderful write up. Apparently the person that made this video made it for a multimedia course. Enjoy.

Misc Gaming: Ikaruga: A lifestyle, a religion

alpha.pngBy Alpha
(Thursday is my day.)


In a day and age where the majority of video games have based their purpose solely on having us breeze through an experience, Ikaruga was there to throw us back again; back to a different time and period. A time when practice, consistency, discipline, and dedication all needed to be applied to complete a game. A time when video games were merely all great tests of skill.

So, what exactly is the allure of Ikaruga? Why do so many spend countless hours day in and day out practicing and honing their skills at this game? Bragging rights? A sense of completion? Or is it just the simple dream of achieving the impossible, or in this case the almost impossible? I understand that many shmups are just as difficult, and possibly even more difficult than this game. Ikaruga though, in it’s popularity, somehow took the position down the line as the poster child for impossible shumps. With that said, out of all the reason I believe people play Ikaruga, overcoming the impossible seems to be the biggest draw for myself personally, and for the many that do play it.

Rocky, The Mighty Ducks, Rudy, The Replacements, When We Were Kings, all movies, but why, why am I listing these movies? Well, looking closer, these movies have a tendency to push back and move beyond their medium’s curtain. They move beyond the state of motion pictures, they become and stay as small glimpses into our society’s infatuation of taking on and following the role of an underdog. Overcoming enormous obstacles has become quite the common staple and cliche in the entertainment world. Not only does the story of Ikaruga adopt this, but the interaction with the game and player outside the interactive realm does as well. Pursuing Ikaruga‘s completion takes commitment. Except this time, there are no training montages.
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Blips and Bloops – AKI Wrestling

alpha.pngBy Alpha
(Picks Rick Steiner for a royal rumble)

I remember a time when I thought that THQ actually made a couple pretty good games. I am talking their wrestling games they released back for the Nintendo 64. When I was still a middle school/early high school chumpa, I was really into professional wrestling, and so were all of my friends. I guess we all just liked the drama and hilarity of it.

Back then the 64 was one of the big shits out in the gaming world, and I owned one. I rented games pretty much every week and as a result I ended up renting WCW/nWo revenge. The game was fantastic. The controls were simple, the characters kind of had this welcoming almost cartoonish look to them, the music was alright, and the overall gameplay was really just amazing and addictive.

My buddies and I would play this game for literally hours. I think we clocked in about 8-12 hours in playing it one day, the game never got boring. As the 64 aged, more great games were developed under this engine such as WWF Wrestlemania 2000 and WWF No Mercy. There was also an earlier title predating WCW/nWo Revenge titled WCW World Tour.

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Blips and Bloops: Mother 3

alpha.pngBy Alpha
(Italics in parenthesis)

[Blips and Bloops are a new line of articles that I am writing in between my monster articles. They are small little blobs of text that encompass anything and everything about video games]

Today I bring you Mother 3…for the Nintendo 64. Yes that’s right, I said Nintendo 64, not Game Boy Advance. Back in 1996 HAL Labs was planning on making a sequel to their highly acclaimed and cherished classic Earthbound (AKA. Mother 2 in Japan). Although the plot, characters, and general foundation for the game was forged solid, the development team, who were not used to 3D development, had trouble putting it all together. The game was pushed back and delayed year after year.

The game was going to be a launch title for the Nintendo 64 Disk Drive. At the 1999 Space World convention, Nintendo went as far as showing the game off complete with screen shots, a movie, and a playable demo. Though 1999 looked promising for Earthbound fans, the new millennium would soon ring in with disappointment.

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