Under the Knife – Emperor: Battle For Dune

By Kaiserhawk

(Sexier than a Desert Planet)

Oh HealingTouch, how I have missed the sweet embrace of your wordpress grasp. It has been to long HealingTouch, but I shall make it up to you. For example I decided to do a little experimentation this video reviews, for which I chose a game which I recently picked up and played called Emperor: Battle For Dune.

So I hope you enjoyed my weekend time sink.

NotN: Archie is an Idiot

By MrMean


(Will lose my privileges for this article)

Quote CBC: “In what’s being billed the “Archie Story of the Century,” perennially indecisive loverboy Archie Andrews has finally chosen the raven-haired Veronica Lodge over sunny girl-next-door Betty Cooper, according to the official Archie Comics website.

“Could it be true? Has Archie finally decided to take the plunge and propose to comics’ favourite rich girl? It sure looks that way!” read a note posted online Wednesday.

The posting is accompanied by a comic book cover featuring Archie, on one knee, offering a ring up to Veronica, depicted saying “Yes!” A teary Betty and shocked Jughead — Archie’s best friend — look on.

What the ****? Is Archie smoking crack? After 60 years and 600 comics this love triangle has finally came to an end. I have no problem with that. The problem I have is that this idiot Archie chose Veronica over Betty. He is a complete moron. Now I am just trying to make my article longer to make it seem important. You can read more about this at:



UTK: Pokemon Platinum

By MrMean

(Still prefers to be called Mr instead of Dr)

6 months after the release in Japan, Gamefreak and Nintendo gratefully bring you Pokemon Platinum, a spinoff of Pokemon Diamond and Pearl. Pokemon Platinum takes place in the same region as Diamond and Pearl, heck it is the same game but with some minor, yet effective changes. Pokemon Platinum came out on on March 22nd.


The storyline is pretty much the same as Diamond and Pearl. Team Galatic is trying to conquer the Sinnoh region by acquiring the three legendaries of the lakes, Azelf, Mesprit and Unxie.  Your role is to mind your own business until you bump into Team Galatic’s Headmaster, Cyrus.

You goal now now is to stop Team Galatic and save all of Sinnoh. You are Continue reading

Misc. Gaming – Killing Floor – London Calling


(OD? Making videos?! What madness is this!?”)

If any of you have been on steam or just browsing the internet for another Zombie game, then you probably already know about “Killing Floor” for the PC. I recently bought it a week ago and now I am showing you guys a taste of what to expect in Killing Floor. Enjoy, and also watch in High Quality.

Expect a video review of the game in the near future.

The Bastard Gamer: Dragon Ball games part 1

By The Bastard Gamer

(Wrestling is fake and incredibly gay!)

The season 2 finale is upon us, so we’ll check out the worst of the Dragon Ball video games. Also I’m hoping for a feature on That Guy with the Glasses. Cross your fingers.

Yamagato Industries Business Report

by Link
(HealingTouch 2.0 AKA vaporware)

Just stopping in to tell you about an exciting project that Beeslo and I are working on (yes, there’s a third man but he’s never done any writing for HealingTouch so you probably don’t care too much about what he’s up to. But… just in case, his name’s Mongo, he’s cool.) Yamagato Industries Business Report, to put it simply, is an anime/comic podcast that we’re working on, and it’s LEAGUES better than Wish Come True: Miracle Surgery ever was.

Download the Pilot/Demo:
http://healingtouch.scvs4hire.com/podca … _pilot.mp3

Issue 0:

We’re still not official yet, and I’m not involved in the speaking aspect of this show, but let me say that it sounds DAMN good and I can’t find any qualms with it’s quality.

Issue 1:

It’s finally out! Sorry for the delay! We had some issues with our sound, primarily my Mic. We’re working to fix the issue, and HOPEFULLY we’ll have it ready and working 100% awesome by Issue 2 or 3. We’ll also be trying to keep our podcast between 30 and 45 minutes, depending on how much we have to talk about.

Issue 2:

We had some issues… primarily remembering how to record the Issue, and so we actually did TWO podcasts this day, one that wasn’t recorded and then this one. We’re still working to fix the issue with my mic, I think it sounds relatively okay in this episode. This issue dragged on for a bit in terms of length, but you’ll be relieved to know that Issue 3 is roughly 30 minutes and this was an isolated incident that was a result of us trying to cram in stuff from Part 1 into Part 2.

Issue 3:

Here we go guys, Issue #3, we added a little spice to things and focused on a specific sub-genre of comics. I’ll avoid spoiling it here in the description, just give it a listen instead! This one clocks in at roughly 30-35 minutes. I hope you enjoy!

All future “updates” regarding the podcast will be done on our temporary website instead of spamming up the HealingTouch site with our announcements. If you’d like to help promote us you can currently link them over to our temporary archive site @ Yamagato Industries Business Report (Yes, we’re using thegamevillains.com for the time being, the April Fools site is still around for those who still want to show it to some folks for lulz, it’s just in a different location. A link to that site can be found on our archive page.)

Misc. Gaming – Gmod Arena: Billy Mays Vs. Vince

By: OD

(Call in now and you’ll get an even Sexier OD!)

Oh Garry’s Mod. Is there anything that you can’t do? Apparently not. And damn it’s a good thing.

What do you get when you take 2 of America’s and the internets most well known picthmen and put them to a fight to the death? Fucking epic. That’s what you get. Who will win? Billy Mays and his manly beard? Or Vince with his nuts! Enjoy!