Umbrella Corp presents Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City!

Journey with us into the heart of an outbreak as a heroic mercenary deathsquad…wait wat?

New Sun

By Kaiserhawk

(HOLY MINDBALLS THIS PLACE HAS A NEW POST?!)

Recently Rome 2 Total War was announced, and I was totally stoked by the news. So much so that I went on a Total War binge and played through most of the collection. I played some Fall of the Samurai, and it’s a damn fine game. Beautiful too. That is why I wanted to make a video about it. So here it is: A New Sun

The song used in the video is the eponymous New Sun, performed by a friend’s band named Mojo Spade. You can listen to and download the song from here.

Heart x2: Aerith’s/Aeris’ Death In Final Fantasy VII

By GamerChris(*Sob*)

So, for the last 19 parts of ‘What’s So Wrong With…Final Fantasy VII?’ I have been playing the first disc of the game. I’ve been giving my thoughts and commentary of the game exploring the land, logic and characters of the game.

One of these characters was the flower girl Aerith Gainsborough, who turned out to be the last Cetra, an ancient race that was the first to inhabit the Planet. The main character Cloud, or GmerChris as he is now lovingly called in the HealingTouch article first properly meets her after falling through the roof of her church where she is tending to her flowers.

(*Sigh*)

Inner Child Matinee presents Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland

by Beeslo (reconnecting with his Inner Adult over a keg)

Welcome to Inner Child Matinee!

A place where we can reconnect with the movies of our childhood and reminisce on the animated and live action classics of yesteryear. So get comfortable, pop some popcorn, pour yourself a chocolate milk, wrap yourself up in that security blanket that you said you threw away but secretly kept in your closet and reunite with your inner child.

Inner Child Matinee presents…

Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland

Director: Masami Hata, William T. Hurtz;

Starring: Mickey Rooney, Nancy Cartwright, Gabriel Damon.

1989

Part 1

Part 2

Stay tuned for Parts 3 and 4…

If you like what you see and want to talk about it or even suggest future Inner Child Matinees, click on the Discuss button below!

Anime Blitzkrieg: Pure White Lover Bizarre Jelly

by Link
(He wants to shake hands as a sign of good sportsmanship.)

Hello, and welcome to Anime Blitzkrieg. The premise of these articles will to give you some detailed yet brief, information about various anime series. Usually we will watch an episode or two of a series, write a mini-review, and let you know what you’re getting into. If a series is really worth following, we’ll continue to review the series episode by episode, which should hopefully provoke some discussion on the blog or even the forums about the series and/or episodes in question. First up we’ll be reviewing Pure White Lover Bizarre Jelly.

Okay. You know that cool Wii game called No More Heroes? Well, Travis Touchdown is obsessed with a particular anime in that game. That’s called Pure White Lover Bizarre Jelly.

It’s a Magical Girl Mecha Anime, yes… you heard me, it’s a MAGICAL GIRL… MECHA… ANIME… at least from what I can gather. Most of this is all duct taped together from the posters, t-shirts, photos, and other various things found throughout the game.

The anime has three main characters:

Name: Strawberry, she is the leader of the group.
Color: Red
Mecha: She pilots Glaston 1, the red colored land battle mecha.
Special Attack: Strawberry on the Shortcake

Name: Blueberry
Color: Blue
Mecha: She pilots Glaston 2, the dark colored aerial battle mecha.
Special Attack: Blueberry Cheese Brownie

Name: Cranberry
Color: Yellow
Mecha: She pilots Glaston 3, the white colored aerial battle mecha.
Special Attack: Cranberry Chocolate Sundae

Other Information About the Series:

Glastonbury

Glastonbury (I assume it’s a mistranslation and is actually Glastonberry), is a large space battle mecha. It’s theorized that Glastonbury is a result of Glaston 1, 2, and 3 combining together.

Glastonbury has basic laser attacks which can be upgraded into tri-laser attacks.
Glastonbury also has a charged up special attack that destroys everything in it’s field of vision called ‘Anarchy in the Galaxy’.

Anime Intro

Additionally, Heavenly Star (A theme you hear in various shops) is the opening intro theme of Pure White Lover Bizarre Jelly. It is performed by the virtual pop idol group the Genki Rockets. Both the voice and girl who sings are computer generated and do not actually exist.

Merchandise:

As you can tell by the above photo there is a TON of merchandise. Posters, Pillows, Stickers, Action Figures, Clocks, Soundtracks, etc. However, we’re going to touch on a few of the more well known pieces of merchandise.

DVDs

As you can see, there are 3 DVDs in the series. Each DVD prominently displaying one of the 3 main characters on it’s cover. Additionally in this photo, are two art books, which are not part of the DVD collection itself.

Video Game

There is a game called Pure White Giant Glastonbury which Travis plays during the subway sequence of the game. It appears to be for the Nintendo 64 based off of it’s cartridge shape. It’s a very retro looking shoot ‘em up, played much like Ikaruga or Galaga.

Shirts

There are a total of 8 known Pure White T-Shirts,

• a dark grey shirt which features all 3 magical girls and w/red trim
• a white shirt featuring Strawberry
• a white shirt featuring Blueberry
• a white shirt featuring Cranberry
• a white shirt featuring Glaston 1, it has G1 written on it.
• a blue shirt featuring Glaston 2, it has G2 written on it.
• a yellow shirt featuring Glaston 3, it has G3 written on it.
• a white shirt featuring Glastonbury on it, with Glastonbury in katakana.

There is also a Limited Edition Pure White Lover Bizarre Jelly Jacket, Belt, and Pants set that fetches a high price amongst fans.

With all of this being said. The ENTIRE anime/series is completely fake and only exists inside the No More Heroes world. However, in a March 15, 2008 interview with Computer and Video Games, Suda51 revealed that a possible real-life anime adaption of the series would be produced in the future, saying:

“As you may know, our publisher, Marvellous, actually does a lot of animation work, so it’s something that has been discussed.

We were actually in discussions to do something with the Bizarre Jelly characters as seen on Travis’ shirt, but I have no idea how serious they were.

Hey, tell your readers if they want to see it, write in and give them the feedback. There’s every chance it could get made.”

So let’s all keep our fingers crossed, and start writing those letters, shall we?

What’s So Wrong With…Final Fantasy VII Part Two

 

By GamerChris (He loves Aerith. Obviously…)

We pick up today’s action from where we left off with the exposion of the reactor causing GmerChris, Daigo and crew being flung from danger and into Midgar.

What’s So Wrong With?…Final Fantasy VII

Trial and Error: Dark Messiah

by Panteraftw (His music is acoustic rock!)

Welcome to the first Trial and Error, HealingTouch’s demo review line. Here, we DO judge games by their covers, to some extent. Take that, political/social correctness! Just keep in mind, we haven’t played the whole game; we are reviewing an unfinished version of the game, with only a small portion of it to go by.

Demo: Dark Messiah

Platform: Xbox 360

Modes: Single Player, Multiplayer in full game

With every star title, there is at least one imitator. In this case, there are two, but I will only be talking about one: Dark Messiah. This is another first-person fantasy world action/adventure game in the same style as The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. However, much like Two Worlds, Dark Messiah takes a good game and takes a shit on it.

Here on Trial and Error, we only go by what’s given to us. The game advertisements boast multiplayer action, yet there is none in the demo, so I can’t review it. But what I can talk about, however, is the single player….

When you start the demo up, you’ll hear some horrid voice acting, which will actually last throughout the entire journey. You play as Sareth, a young warrior who apparently has some stuff to take from some place. Whatever, I honestly don’t care in the least about his agenda, I just want to play.

The level we’re given looks like crap. Everything looks poorly textured and grainy. This would be excusable if the game controlled well and played well, but it really doesn’t. You can never really get into a comfort zone while playing this game; everything feels stiff at times and loose at other times.

Besides, it’s your standard Oblivion-clone fare, anyway. You walk around, you attack something, you do a simple non-combat task like climbing a rope or grabbing something, and you’re done. Does this game have anything going for it?

Well, I actually like the combat more than Oblivion’s combat, mostly because it didn’t feel tacked on as much. It felt more like an actual game, believe it or not. However, even this aspect of the game is marred with poor animations and clunky controls, and the enemies will drop fairly easily in this level.

There’s not much more to say for this demo. I didn’t enjoy it very much. I am curious to see how the multiplayer co-op plays in this game, but somehow I know I’d rather be playing 4-player Gauntlet anyway. So the final word? I say Pass on Dark Messiah. There are plenty other games in this genre and setting that surpass this game leaps and bounds.

Trailer Trash: Resident Evil: Degeneration

by Link (He sure does love his zombies.)

The List: Top 10 Gay Game Characters

by Link
(He’s not a Zelda Fan.)

Welcome to our first ‘The List’ entry. It’s basically a little segment of Top 10′s (not always 10, sometimes it could be 20 or just 5.), but nowhere near in depth. These will all be covered in a single or sometimes double article if it’s really that intense.

Our first category will be, gay characters in gaming, they don’t have to be outright gay, but if they scream flaming like a male Blood Elf warlock spamming hellfire, then they’re making the list. Oh, and just to clear things up, I’m a huge fan of gay characters in video games. In fact I’m Bisexual, so don’t go coming down on as me as some sort of gay basher or anything.

#10. Miles “Tails” Prower – Sonic

A few fangirls (Kova) might be sent into a rage right now. But if his voice acting doesn’t scream flaming, then this above photo sure as hell does. There was much heated debate back in the day over whether or not Tails as a girl or a boy, and that argument still occurs to this day on the occasion. Which is why Tails gets the #10 slot, regardless of his sex or sexual preference.

#9. Birdo/Ostro – Super Mario

I don’t think I really have to say too much, maybe I do, I’m not sure. Part of a giant conspiracy with Nintendo was covering up the cross-dressing drag queen known as Ostro (Birdo in the states.) While on the surface they claimed it was a girl through and through, eventually fans found out that this girl, actually had a sack of eggs, if you know what I mean. So, Birdo nets the #9 spot for being a sexually confused cross-dressing dinosaur. Yoshi and Birdo don’t make so much of a cute couple anymore, do they?

#8. Poison – Final Fight

Hey, speaking of transvestites and cross dressers, how about Poison from the Final Fight series? Yep. Sorry boys, she’s got a willy in those hot pants, obviously she uses the tuck method. Poison’s life of crime for Mad Gear was simply so he could afford a sex change, he went through all the hoops and loops but decided to keep his package intact. When the Final Fight series came out in America, they actually thought Poison was a 100% female character (guess there was no nude code back in those days), and so they made a big stink about men beating down women in a beat ‘em up (so… what about those broads in Double Dragon & Streets of Rage?) Anyhow, long story short is they gave Poison a full blown sex change and turned her into a skinny dude. All of this confusing trans gender sexual operation action secures Poison the #8 spot.

#7. Ash – Streets of Rage

Since we’re talking about beat ‘em ups, check out this guy. Ash was a boss in the Streets of Rage games, and he pranced around like the limp-wristed pansy he was. He also had all the sound effects of the female characters, even shrieked like a girl when you killed him. There was no beating around the bush here, he was 100% YMCA gay, at least Ash had the balls to say he was taking the sausage losange, which is why he placed 1 rank higher than Poison.

#6. Voldo – Soul Calibur

Once again, if you’re opposed to the notion that Voldo is gay, just check out that codpiece he has going on. Sure, you might think he’s just a fun loving gimp that likes to get beaten around by a hottie in leather, I mean, who wouldn’t want to do that, right? But, Voldo is lovingly devoted to his “master” and he can do a crab walk that would make any middle schooler in gym class feel ashamed which is why he secures the #6 spot.

#5. Bridget – Guilty Gear

Sorry lolita lovers, this young little nun is actually a very sexually confused boy. Bridget was born along with his twin brother, unfortunately for him twin boys were a sign of bad luck in his town, so his parents raised him as a little girl, glad my personal life wasn’t that fucked up when I was growing up. Sure, you can claim that it’s not his fault, and he’s not actually gay, but y’know what… he’s all grown up and left the village, it’s time to stop dressing up like a little nun and prancing around like a fairy, especially if you’re trying to dispel the gay rumor. All of his flamboyances definitely secures Bridget with the #5 spot, I mean just look at his little dance.

#4. Hana & Rain – Fear Effect

If the above picture doesn’t clue you in, these two are hot for the smiling taco. I believe they hold the role of the first official lesbians in any video game to date, with Fear Effect 2: Retro Helix. This whole lesbian gig, while a subplot of the actual game, was pretty much shoved into everybody’s faces in advertisements and hype. Remember kids, sex sells, and that’s why we have DOA: Beach Volleyball, and that’s why we have lesbians at the #4 spot.

#3. Flea/Mayonnaise – Chrono Trigger

Many Chrono Trigger fans will remember the famous line, “Male….Female…what does it matter? Power is beautiful, and I’ve got the power!” Flea was a guy, he didn’t deny that, but he also shifted shapes constantly, and his preferred shape was that of a full blown woman. He also had a lot of attacks that question his sexuality such as Heart, Blow Kiss, and Rainbow Storm, and he seduced your party members as well. In Chrono Cross Flea came back, however when scanned it claimed that his sex was indeed Female, which is true to some degree and false to another, Flea is an enigma of sexuality and he secures himself the #3 spot.

#2. Michael Doi – Bust-a-Groove

Michael Doi pretty much meets all the stereotypes of your typical gay. He’s a dance instructor, he prances around and does ballet, he talks with a lisp and has an annoying laugh. If he could be anymore gay, I’m sure he’d turn into a mecha-Kyan Douglas from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. You’d think there would be more to say about Michael Doi considering he has the #2 spot, but I think the above photo sums it all up nicely.

Meet The Staff: Link

Doctor: Dr. Salvador from Resident Evil 4
Name: Link
Real Name: Not Available
Age: 23
Job: Admin AKA Dean of Medicine, Graphic Art/Design, Blogger
AIM: LtRckHnter (I’m almost always away)
E-Mail: thescarletorder@gmail.com

Favorite Genres of Game: Survival Horror, Beat ‘em Ups, Action, Action RPG, Strategy RPG, RPG, RTS, FPS, MUDs, HQMs (Okay I made that Acronym up.)
Favorite Game of the Moment: Trauma Center: Under The Knife 2
Favorite Game EVER: Final Fantasy Tactics
First Game EVER: Probably Super Mario Brothers, pre-preschool.
Currently Playing: Advance Wars: Days of Ruin (DS), Final Fantasy III (DS), Hoshigami Remix (DS), Landstalker (VC), Persona (PSX), Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner (PS2), Sly Cooper 2 (PS2), The Orange Box (PC), Wild ARMs: Alter Code F (PS2), Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops (PSP), Pokemon Pearl (DS)

Favorite Genres of Anime: Mecha, Psychological, Horror, Drama
Favorite Anime of the Moment: Kaiji
Favorite Anime EVER: Gungrave/Higurashi no Naku Koro ni/Kaiji/Robotech, I can’t decide… v_v
First Anime EVER: Robotech when it was on Toonami, I used to call it ‘Ahniim’
Currently Watching: Macross Frontier, Black Jack TV (Waiting for it to be finished with it’s fansubbing.)
Anime Archive: Link’s Anime List

Brief Bio:
What else is there really left to say? Oh, that’s right. I am NOT a Zelda fanboy, despite my nickname of Link. It’s just a name that sort of stuck with me as it was a very old online handle I used to have, and my real name was much too common of a name in high school.

As for other stuff… I’ve got an associates in Multimedia and Graphic Design, which you can check out some of my relatively old work at www.millward-design.com, So feel free to check that out if you’d like. I also dig movies and comic books, and I suppose I’m a bit of a Sega fanboy, especially for a lot of their older franchises and cult classic games like Streets of Rage, Shining Force, etc.

I’ll add more later if I think of anything else, but this is supposed to be brief! ^_^

Post Archive: Link’s Posts