Under the Knife – MadWorld

By OD

(Go on Jack. Make us happy. Make your fans happy.)

Welcome to Death Watch! Only the baddest of the baddest motha fuckas come out alive in this game of death and violence! And I am your master of decapitations, the Bishop of Blood and Carnage! The Black Baron! So whats it gonna be Kill Seeker? You gonna take a bat and send some mo-fo’s into the bulls eye of a dart board?! Or take a bottle of bud and shake it nice and fast and go sending some punks sorry ass into a giant spike?! Maybe you prefer to be a little bit more creative! And instead you put a tire over the poor asshole, then stab a caution sign right through his head, and finish off the mother fucker by throwing him into a wall of spikes a la Rose Bush! Hell yeah pimps and players let’s start it and all you got to worry about is hitting it and quitin it! Ya feel me!

As you can already tell. I love MadWorld. I loved it so much that I impersonated as the Black Baron for a few seconds there. It would of worked if I didn’t run out of things of what the Black Baron would say. Okay enough about how much I love it, let’s see if this game can make you love it!

Under the Knife – House of the Dead: Overkill

By OD

(I’m gonna rip your mother fucking balls off!)

Put the kids to bed, lock your doors, make sure your profanity hating mother isn’t coming over, and make sure you have enough tissues to clean up the mess when you’re done with this game. House of the Dead is back, and holy shit it is packing more heat than the 4 other HotD titles!  Overkill is the face lift that the series needed, and it didn’t just get a face lift! It completely changed what HotD was! So who here is ready for some Zombie infested, gritty, oldschool, grind house gameplay?

Anyway, House of the Dead: Overkill was created by Headstrong games, a British gaming company who had a die hard obsession with the HotD games. SEGA gave the HotD title to Headstrong and on February 2009, everyone got a piece of what Headstrong games could do with zombies, chicks, profanity, and guns.

My magic bean has grown tall for Majora’s Mask

By Alpha
(more ehhh……)

What can I say about the Legend of Zelda that hasn’t been said before? The series has very rarely ever let me down. Every Zelda title I have ever purchased has at least lived up to it’s price. The series has helped inspire and just hands down elevate the world of video games. From kids dressing up as Link for Halloween to those nerdy mutha fuckas babbling about it’s genius design or it’s “bah bah bad ovverratted gaynezz”, the Legend of Zelda is quite the uhhhh….legend (laugh).

With all of that said, the Legend of Zelda rarely departs from it’s formula. The series manages to keep itself somewhat fresh with each new installment with updated graphics and gameplay mechanics (Ex. “Wow mom, I can finally swing a sword pressing the A button on horseback. I mean, using a bow with a C button was neato, but this is totally well, gollyriffic.”). I’m not saying this is horrible, at least Nintendo tries to change up a few things up. Essentially though, we are all just playing the same game over and over. Then again, that is why most of us have stuck to the series.

There’s No Place Like Homebrew – Legend of Princess

by Beeslo

(are we dying, grandpa?)

Man, its been forever since I last did my TNPLH review of Still Alive for the DS, but I felt it was time to dust it off and give you all a treat.

For those of you who were alive when the Legend of Zelda II first came out for the NES, you were a little disappointed and confused. It wasn’t the now classic bird’s eye viewpoint, the gameplay was more arcade like and the difficulty was ridiculous. Its not to say that as a stand alone game, it wasn’t a great game. But as a sequel, I felt it personally fell short of the original.

But let’s pretend it hadn’t been released for the NES, but instead was released for the SNES.  Avid homebrew creator, Konjak has done just that by creating a very Zelda II like game but with stunning graphics, terrific music and some of the best fast pace, arcade action since Gunstar Heroes. The game makes no hiding the fact that its a blantant rip-off of Zelda (I mean, its name is Legend of Princess), and it protects itself hilariously by giving the main character pink hair, parodying his victory stance with his sword and best of all, orchestrating a completely “original” musical score which obviously borrows certain melodies from the Zelda franchise.

Misc. Gaming – Dead Rising Chop Till You Drop Music Video

By OD

( MORE ZOMBIES! I SAID MORE DAMN IT! )

Just in case 08′ didn’t give you enough zombies or un-dead creatures to slaughter, Capcom is here to help that urge. While RE5 isn’t going to be out until around Spring, Dead Risings “Chop Till You Drop” will be coming to the Wii in February. Just so you know this Dead Rising is a re-make of the original 360 title, adding Wii controls and some extra goodies as well.  So to hype the release of the game, Capcom has gone into great lengths to make a J-Rock music video for the game. Now watch as all of Dead Rising’s characters and zombies bang their heads and beat each other sensless!

Misc. Gaming, Cooking Mama: Peta Edition

By The Bastard Gamer

(How do animals learn? Well as long as they learn to taste good I don’t really care!)

Well, Peta is at it again. This time with a new flash game where they stretch the truth about Thanksgiving. I thought I’d play their little Cooking Mama ripoff game to see what they feel about one of my favourite holidays.

Misc. Geekery – Yoshi’s Island Nursery

by Link
(Is very impressed.)

Supracress was kind enough to share his nursery with us over at The Game Heroes, and I felt I should share it with everyone else out there on the Internet. How cool is this?!

Aww, look at baby Wario. This guy’s kid is obviously going to grow up to be a criminal.

Outpatient Article: Heart x2 – A Link to the Past

by Little Miss Gloom
(The title is a play on words, don’t look so confused.)

I recently picked up The Legend of Zelda for my GBA. No, not The Minish Cap, but the port of the NES game, when Nintendo released those NES Classic Series games a few years ago. And, I must say, I have become absolutely addicted to it. I forgot how great of a game the original Zelda truly was. Err … Is, rather.

Oh, okay.

Okay, so I bought the gamefor ten dollars from my local Hock Shop (which I might add, is a video game GOLD MINE), for around ten dollars. Originally, I wasn’t going to buy it, only because I already own Zelda on the NES, but I gave in due to its dropping in price (originally $15.00), and the fact that I own Zelda 2 on GBA already, so I may as well own the first one.

So I go home and toss it and Double Dragon GB onto my dresser carelessly, until that night, when I actually find myself away from the computer (*gasp*). So I pop it in, and start wandering around. It wasn’t until I finished the first dungeon that this … feeling of sorts settled in the pit of my stomach.

It was a warm, mystical feeling, but it wasn’t nostalgia — It was wonder, I believe. Sort of the kind of wonder an infant experiences when he discovers his hands are actually attached to him. I grew up with Zelda, but it had never affected me in the way it had now. Even when I beat the game for the first time about a year ago (Oh sod off, hardcores), it was a more “meh fun stuff I guess” appreciation. But playing it portably, for some reason or another, really opened my eyes as to how fantastic, deep, and complex The Legend of Zelda is.

Badly Drawn Penguins: Re: Nintendo DSi

By GamerChris (Proud owner of a Nintendo DS ‘Phat’. Now not proud he actually just said that)

With Nintendo’s Fall Press Conference recently rolling out there were a few interesting announcements made. Jim and Tim tackle one of those announcements: The new Nintendo DSi, a sort of redesign of the standard Nintendo DS system.

Outpatient Article: News of the Now – Punch Out!! Announced for the Wii

by Goldman
(he knew it!)

Nintendo’s Conference, October 2, we get some AWESOME news…

Punch Out!! will finally have a remake on the seventh generation console of Nintendo, the Wii(The game is set to be released on 2009). And what does that mean for us?! Hours and hours of hitting thin air in your mother basement!!!! COOL!!!

Now here’s the trailer so you all can feel happy and nostalgic and stuff:

So, what did you thought of it? keep reading for my thoughts on how it’s gameplay will be.

Blips and Bloops: Mother 3

By Alpha
(Italics in parenthesis)

[Blips and Bloops are a new line of articles that I am writing in between my monster articles. They are small little blobs of text that encompass anything and everything about video games]

Today I bring you Mother 3…for the Nintendo 64. Yes that’s right, I said Nintendo 64, not Game Boy Advance. Back in 1996 HAL Labs was planning on making a sequel to their highly acclaimed and cherished classic Earthbound (AKA. Mother 2 in Japan). Although the plot, characters, and general foundation for the game was forged solid, the development team, who were not used to 3D development, had trouble putting it all together. The game was pushed back and delayed year after year.

The game was going to be a launch title for the Nintendo 64 Disk Drive. At the 1999 Space World convention, Nintendo went as far as showing the game off complete with screen shots, a movie, and a playable demo. Though 1999 looked promising for Earthbound fans, the new millennium would soon ring in with disappointment.

Misc. Gaming – Wario Land: Shake It!

by Link
(Is amazed by the footage.)

Words can’t describe how awesome this advertisement is, and it’s even more intriguing and awesome from my ‘art fag’ sort of viewpoint. Words just can’t describe the awesome xsomeality… seriously, way to go Nintendo! Best advertisement of the year!

I’d embed the video on HealingTouch, but I have a feeling it’s amazingness would cause the website to actually implode on itself, so you’re going to be required to click this NON-Rick Roll link (I swear.)

Under The Knife: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time

By CanuckGamer
(A little from column A, a little from column B!)

Note: I won’t always be doing Pokemon Games.

[Introduction]

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time is a dungeon exploring “RPG” based off of games popular mainly in Japan, using the same basic engine. You take a quiz in the beginning that requests you answer a few questions truthfully, and will decide what Pokemon you get as your starter. I found this to be somewhat pointless, while it adds a bit of uniqueness, trying to get the Pokemon you want is infuriating. At least there are GameFAQs guides to help you! Luckily, it allows you to choose your own partner, but be wise, because you are stuck with those two Pokemon for most of the game, and if you choose a crappy combo, you’re screwed.

News of the Now — Surprising Robot Master for Mega Man 9

by Beeslo

(is against women’s sufferage! Women should never suffer!)

Yesterday, Capcom released the identity of one of the new robot masters from Mega Man 9. This new one was not the first to be announced, Plug Man was announced not shortly before. The big news behind this unveiling is that it isn’t a Robot Master…but in fact, a Robot Mistress. Yep, Splash Woman breaks new ground by being the first female robot Boss ever to fight Mega Man! Apparently her Laser Trident will give Mega Man the power to be able to shoot through walls at enemies including hidden walls.

Misc. Media – Nintendo Y’all

by Beeslo

(more fun than marryin’ your cousin!)

Created by the Secret Pants Comedy Troupe, this short plays on the ad campaign Nintendo used when the Wii lauched. You all know the one: “Wii would like to play!” Well, thats all you need to know…