Charles Barkley Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden is sexual chocolate

By Alpha
(good morning g1′s)

Ya know, fuck our usual protagonists. Metro sexual pretty boys and emotional brooding introverts have gone the way of cliche. Would you really depend on these types of characters to save the world from impending destruction? I think not. If I had to pick someone to stand behind in such a dire time, I would want to support a real man, a man’s man, a man like, like, like…. CHARLES BARKLEY! I could definitely see myself supporting a man like Sir Charles. A bullshit free, tough son of a bitch, with some heavy feet and a heavier tongue. Come to think of it, it’s a very rare thing to witness a main RPG protagonist these days with that type of personality. I think it’s safe to say that Square won’t be licensing Charles’s name anytime soon.

Charles Barkley Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, Chapter 1 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa fucked me tenderly. It told me that I was beautiful, it whispered in my ear as it tenderly held itself close to my body, and it was sincere, as it excited me like no other game has before. Shut up and Jam: Gaiden in a word was spectacular! My past however, enhanced the experience to a biased and personally pleasurable level. For I was once a basketball junkie. Back in the mid 90′s, I would play basketball at school, at the church I grew up at, at the park, and anywhere really that I could play. I would dream about playing basketball, I would read about all of the players, I’d watch the games, and collect the cards. At a time, basketball was my life.

My magic bean has grown tall for Majora’s Mask

By Alpha
(more ehhh……)

What can I say about the Legend of Zelda that hasn’t been said before? The series has very rarely ever let me down. Every Zelda title I have ever purchased has at least lived up to it’s price. The series has helped inspire and just hands down elevate the world of video games. From kids dressing up as Link for Halloween to those nerdy mutha fuckas babbling about it’s genius design or it’s “bah bah bad ovverratted gaynezz”, the Legend of Zelda is quite the uhhhh….legend (laugh).

With all of that said, the Legend of Zelda rarely departs from it’s formula. The series manages to keep itself somewhat fresh with each new installment with updated graphics and gameplay mechanics (Ex. “Wow mom, I can finally swing a sword pressing the A button on horseback. I mean, using a bow with a C button was neato, but this is totally well, gollyriffic.”). I’m not saying this is horrible, at least Nintendo tries to change up a few things up. Essentially though, we are all just playing the same game over and over. Then again, that is why most of us have stuck to the series.

Playing with yourself: Persona 3

By Alpha
(ehhh……)

Well hell, I guess motivation has hit me at quite an awkward time. There’s only 2 days left for this musing. Despite it, I think I’ll be able to write something out. So yes, “Playing With Yourself”, quite an easy phrase to poke fun at as an innuendo. We all know that it’s quite funny, but I’ll try my best to restrain from taking the low road.

I enjoy playing games with others, and I usually have a much more exciting and fun time doing so then playing alone. For me, the outside experience surrounding the game is what I take in and cherish most when I play a game with others. A one player game however tends to pull me inside, the experience within the game. Multiplayer or not, memories are made despite the number of folks on my couch.

Misc Media: Stop motion paper Rock Man

By Furia
(ehhh……)

Well, here it is folks. One top notch article for the week. I slaved hours and hours writing out a Misc. Media for all of you. I may be busy playing video games and enjoying each of my 40 hour work weeks, but I cleared some time to write this baby up.

Stop motion, paper, Mega Man; these are words that best describe the video I have attached to this wonderful write up. Apparently the person that made this video made it for a multimedia course. Enjoy.

Misc Gaming: Ikaruga: A lifestyle, a religion

By Alpha
(Thursday is my day.)

In a day and age where the majority of video games have based their purpose solely on having us breeze through an experience, Ikaruga was there to throw us back again; back to a different time and period. A time when practice, consistency, discipline, and dedication all needed to be applied to complete a game. A time when video games were merely all great tests of skill.

So, what exactly is the allure of Ikaruga? Why do so many spend countless hours day in and day out practicing and honing their skills at this game? Bragging rights? A sense of completion? Or is it just the simple dream of achieving the impossible, or in this case the almost impossible? I understand that many shmups are just as difficult, and possibly even more difficult than this game. Ikaruga though, in it’s popularity, somehow took the position down the line as the poster child for impossible shumps. With that said, out of all the reason I believe people play Ikaruga, overcoming the impossible seems to be the biggest draw for myself personally, and for the many that do play it.

Rocky, The Mighty Ducks, Rudy, The Replacements, When We Were Kings, all movies, but why, why am I listing these movies? Well, looking closer, these movies have a tendency to push back and move beyond their medium’s curtain. They move beyond the state of motion pictures, they become and stay as small glimpses into our society’s infatuation of taking on and following the role of an underdog. Overcoming enormous obstacles has become quite the common staple and cliche in the entertainment world. Not only does the story of Ikaruga adopt this, but the interaction with the game and player outside the interactive realm does as well. Pursuing Ikaruga‘s completion takes commitment. Except this time, there are no training montages.

Blips and Bloops – AKI Wrestling

By Alpha
(Picks Rick Steiner for a royal rumble)

I remember a time when I thought that THQ actually made a couple pretty good games. I am talking their wrestling games they released back for the Nintendo 64. When I was still a middle school/early high school chumpa, I was really into professional wrestling, and so were all of my friends. I guess we all just liked the drama and hilarity of it.

Back then the 64 was one of the big shits out in the gaming world, and I owned one. I rented games pretty much every week and as a result I ended up renting WCW/nWo revenge. The game was fantastic. The controls were simple, the characters kind of had this welcoming almost cartoonish look to them, the music was alright, and the overall gameplay was really just amazing and addictive.

My buddies and I would play this game for literally hours. I think we clocked in about 8-12 hours in playing it one day, the game never got boring. As the 64 aged, more great games were developed under this engine such as WWF Wrestlemania 2000 and WWF No Mercy. There was also an earlier title predating WCW/nWo Revenge titled WCW World Tour.

Blips and Bloops: Mother 3

By Alpha
(Italics in parenthesis)

[Blips and Bloops are a new line of articles that I am writing in between my monster articles. They are small little blobs of text that encompass anything and everything about video games]

Today I bring you Mother 3…for the Nintendo 64. Yes that’s right, I said Nintendo 64, not Game Boy Advance. Back in 1996 HAL Labs was planning on making a sequel to their highly acclaimed and cherished classic Earthbound (AKA. Mother 2 in Japan). Although the plot, characters, and general foundation for the game was forged solid, the development team, who were not used to 3D development, had trouble putting it all together. The game was pushed back and delayed year after year.

The game was going to be a launch title for the Nintendo 64 Disk Drive. At the 1999 Space World convention, Nintendo went as far as showing the game off complete with screen shots, a movie, and a playable demo. Though 1999 looked promising for Earthbound fans, the new millennium would soon ring in with disappointment.

Misc. Gaming – Feel the Hatred: Mega Man 9

By Alpha
(A Musing)

Mega Man 9 kicked my ass, took my lunch money, and gave me a swirly. Not since Ikaruga, has any other modern game stepped in to beat me down and strip me of my pride. Mega Man 9 however, has taken the pleasure of breaking up this gap for me. Don’t get me wrong, subjecting myself to 8 bit beatings is nothing new in my book. I tend to be very masochistic as is when it comes to playing older games. I seem to believe that I take on this pain inflicting attitude simply because my expectations for difficulty generally gravitate pretty high for the games of yesterday.

In comparison to the majority of games today, older games tend to be the equivalent of eating nails. Mega Man 9, as a modern day game, is an exception. I went in expecting the difficulty to be somewhat lackluster and watered down because of it’s date, but I was wrong. Dead wrong. This game not only looks and plays like the original titles, but it hits just as hard.

Misc Media: The Happiest Monster

By Alpha
(Yep, filler, this is filler)

I usually never do these segments. As I was awaiting the sunday comics or at least something to get posted, I noticed that at around 5:oo that nobody was going to post anything. Blame it on a lazy sunday or what not, I took this small problem into my own hands. I searched deep and passionately into my youtube favorites just to find a video worth watching.

Here it is, The Happiest Monster. A short animated film posted 2 years ago by a man named Jonathan Kim. Since I’ve been on internet, I’ve seen many great works from many different artists, Jonathans though, stands out to me personally among them all. Enjoy, and please visit his website. http://persona.mechafetus.com/

Misc Gaming: Tingle: a constant in an intermittently mannered world

By Alpha
(kooloo limpah!)

Tingle. A name that often finds itself tangled in a spider web of slanderous opinions and oppressive observations. Very few opinions are ever supportive of the character behind the name. However, it is safe for me to say that the majority of these opinions are often regarded as negative. Tingle has frequently been named as a running joke in the video game community. He has been branded and tarnished with a galore of labels. Some ignorantly mark him as a “homosexual” (not that there’s anything wrong with that), a “flake”, a “man child”, and others in a clear attempt at extremism, as a “pedophile”.

Tingle is a very different character then what most people would have liked to seen or interact with in a video game. His lifestyle and questionable attire regularly stir up the opinions and emotions that reside deep within each of us. I don’t want this article to take any root in as a moral lesson, but the straightforward truth in all of this is that most of the time it is very easy to base judgment on differences alone.

Admittedly, I did initially perceive Tingle in a very harsh light. The first time I met this character was in The Legend Of Zelda: Majora’s Mask . I thought as the majority did. I labeled him as many things. I ignorantly passed judgment on the differences that I, myself, could not feel secure enough to hold onto as my own. I was 15 at the time, and I was still quite immature. Only later would I shamefully look at my past and find admiration and respect for this very different and disparate character.

When regarding Tingle, you may ask where my admiration and respect for this character has stemmed from? To put it frankly, Tingle has balls. Not just regular balls, but balls of steel. The kind of balls that you would only hear AC/DC reference to. Tingle is a character that has been rejected by many because of his bold individual differences. Not once though, did I ever see a flicker of regret in that poor NPC’s eyes.

Tingle is a constant in an intermittently mannered world. The green spandex, the red shorts, and that merry glow on his face, all help showcase society what he’s all about. Tingle is a 35 year old man who finds his joy in life as an enthusiast of forest fairies and rupees. You can often find him floating around underneath his red balloon, drawing or selling maps for his father, and deciphering triforce maps for high prices. As simple and as odd as his lifestyle sounds, he is living his dream, and it seems as if he has no intentions to ever stop living that dream. Many will sneer, snicker, and attempt to persecute him for his apparent differences, but inside Tingle knows deep within that those differences make him who he really is. Unlike the stone throwers, Tingle is not afraid to be his true self.

Misc Gaming: Aspiring hope for Grand Theft Auto

By Alpha

(beeg imerican teeeeties)

A few months ago, I finished Grand Theft Auto IV. Overall, I really enjoyed the experience. It probably is the game I have played the most on my 360. I never followed the hype or promotion of this game, and initially, I really wasn’t planning on buying it. I ended up purchasing it though, just to rekindle the old memories I had of raising hell in Grand Theft Auto III . I never finished GTA III, so I thought I’d do the same with IV. Do a couple missions here and there, throw in some codes, and for the rest of the time I’d just go insane, sandbox style.

My original intent eventually subsided. With Grand Theft Auto IV, I really became more interested in actually finishing and playing out the story, then just raising cane like I did in the previous Grand Theft Auto games. Rockstar definitely put out some effort into improving this franchise. Not only did they shift focus to the story and the missions, but they also polished up, added, and removed different game mechanics and elements to make the game much more enjoyable. Although Grand Theft Auto IV was definitely a step up both technologically and in depth from the other games in the series, it is still not without it’s faults.

Grand Theft Auto IV gave me great hope for the interactive future of stealing cars, killing people, and picking up sluts. I’d love to see this franchise improve and possibly even fairly earn that 10 spot from mass game reviews. I doubt that anyone at Rockstar will ever read this, but as for Grand Theft Auto V and the future of this series, here is what I’m hoping for.

Under The Knife: Crisis Force

By Alpha 87655320875

(words go here)

Ahhh Crisis Force, what a beautiful game. Everything I love about video games is present here. It’s a shmup, it’s on the Famicom, and it’s just one damn fun game to play overall. Whenever I feel the need to raise hell in Tokyo, I usually either bust out my army of deadly robot Godzilla clones, or I just take in hand good old Crisis Force. I never get sick of unleashing a lethal reign of bullets and lasers over and upon the city, destroying everything in my path. From buildings to giant air crafts, nothing stands in my way of total annihilation. Crisis Force is an amazing game that will help you finally live out those wild dreams of Tokyo destruction. Hopefully I can persuade you all to eventually try it out.

Crisis Force is a vertical shoot em up developed by one of my favorite companies, Konami. It was released back in 1991 for Japan only. The Japan only release was probably due to the fact that the N.E.S was becoming outdated and eclipsed by the new cutting edge 16 bit machines at the time; the PC engine, the Megadrive, and the Super Nintendo.

Crisis Force featured many staples of Konami’s past shooters. Staples such as 2 player co op, the use of the Konami code, and the inclusion of many standard Konami power ups that you’d come to expect from one of their shooters. Although it did include many staples of past Konami shooters, Crisis Force was definitely not just another run of the mill shooter. The ability and concept of switching between three different ship configurations during play offered both depth and a refreshing change of pace to the formula. Crisis Force offered 7 different varied stages all balanced, blended, and beautifully orchestrated with obstructions, bosses, mini bosses, power ups, and a contrasting array of endless enemies.

You have to really hold onto your ass with this game; it is one fast paced bitch. Crisis Force demands alot of attention from you. Sometimes blinking just will not seem worth it in the midst of a heated battle. You will have to keep your eyes peeled and your thumb moving, because any wrong move can be a deadly one. Although there are 3 different difficulty modes to choose from, Crisis Force can honestly be one hell bent beast of a game to play.

Misc. Gaming: Capcom Knows Duck

By Alpha 87655320875

(“I‘ll grant you the honor of carrying me.” )

When I was still a lad, there was this craze going on about making cartoons based on ducks. Back in the late 80′s to the early 90′s, mallards ruled the entertainment world. We had the pleasure of watching Count Duckula, Duck Tales, Darkwing Duck, The Mighty Ducks, and every now and then we would have the opportunity’s to watch the old classics, staring either Donald Duck or Daffy Duck. I have no idea why my generation at the time was a target for duck related entertainment, but as time went by we all seemed to grow fond of it. I have yet to find one person in my age range that has never had at least one fond memory of any late 80′s to early 90′s ‘duck shows’.

It must have been a growing market back then. It just seemed as if everyone was getting into the duck business for some reason another. Even Capcom, one of the biggest third party video game developers at the time, would go on to eventually contribute to this new wave of children’s entertainment inspired by the Anatidae bird family. (Yes, I just pulled that out of Wikipedia.)

Capcom, in my opinion, made the definitive duck related games for the dominating system of that time; the time when ducks ruled the world. That system was the Nintendo Entertainment System. Capcom had the licensing from Disney. It was their job to create games based on Disney’s hit shows and movies. With this license, Capcom would go on to make three of the greatest duck related games ever created. Three games that would be released at the peak of this new era in entertainment; the era of the duck.

The most notable and praised game they created due to their relationship with Disney was Duck Tales. Duck Tales, the show, starred Scrooge McDuck, a cheap stubborn wealthy old prune who traveled the world with his nephews and a few friends. They traveled on reasons to uncover lost and hidden treasures. Capcom’s game basically took this premise and ran with it. From the Amazon to the Moon, you discovered treasure as the old cheapskate himself.

With your cane you could finally unleash that pent up old man rage you have been building up over the years. Pressing Jump and down would activate this cane mechanic. The cane acted in a ‘pogo stick’ fashion. It would allow you to hop up and down, break rocks, and it would also harm enemies. The cane could also be used in the form of a ‘golf club’. You could hit rocks, and other objects to clear out paths, as well as enemies. The cane mechanic really helped establish a strong foundation for this game.

The Other Side – Castlevania: Maneuverability Of Ungodly Stiffness

By Alpha 87655320875

(Has long since ditched the parenthesis idea.)

[This is the start of a new line of articles I thought I'd try to write up every now and then. They are about taking on different perspectives to major infamous flaws in games. These perspectives may not be ones that I hold onto myself. I am simply writing about them to help broaden my opinions on certain games and franchises.]

In the creation of the Castlevania franchise, I’m not sure if Konami was originally bucking for an action game. Action games usually are often heavily reliant on smooth controls. Castlevania on the other hand has some of the stiffest controls I have ever witnessed. I know that Konami in that same time period has made many great action games with silky smooth controls, so why would they care to burden Castlevania, a budding title with alot of potential, with these stiff ungodly controls?

You can look at this in two ways. One, if it’s true that Konami was originally aiming for an action game, then they screwed up royally with the controls. Two, Konami went a different route and put a twist on the action formula. A twist that would rely more on memorization and pattern recognition then quick reflexes and maneuverability.

Taking an approach to this with perspective number two, I don’t think that making an action reliant game was Konami’s main initial vision for the Castlevania franchise. The controls were good enough for what this game was all about. To help further prove a point from this perspective, I will also bring in account Castlevania 2 and 3. Not once between the gaps of the development of these 3 games has Konami ever really changed the control scheme. They were either too damn lazy to change these controls, or they just kept them like they were because of a stance in this formula that bares heavy reliance on memorization.

Misc. Gaming – Fond Regards For Link’s Awakening

By Alpha 87655320875

Long before Link’s Awakening was ever conceived in the mind of Mr. Miyamoto, I was already into video games. I started out with my first game being Pong on 2600, and years later I would finally find my first genuinely loved game: Super Mario Bros. I decided not to write about either one of those cherished classics though. When it comes down to the nitty gritty, Link’s Awakening was and will always be the first game that really brought me in and enveloped me into a different world. I played all of the previous Zelda titles off and on through the acts of renting and borrowing up to that point. This one however really stuck with me and pulled me in like no other game has ever done before.

In 1995, by some act of God, I ended up owning this game. One of my friends at the time just received a used Game Boy with a handful of games. I was pretty interested in his small piece of good fortune. Seeing as I was quite the Game Boy connoisseur at the time, I asked him what games he had for it. He went on to explain that he had 2 games; one being Mario Land, and the other being “some crappy game with some guy and a sword”. I just went along with him; nodded my head, and asked if I could borrow Mario Land.

After throughly completing the entire game, I came back to him a couple weeks later. I asked him if I could borrow that “crappy game with some guy and a sword”. Without hesitation, he let me borrow it. When I seen the game’s label for the first time, I was quite surprised at his repugnant attitude towards it. This was a Zelda game. How could anybody hate a Zelda game? It was totally unheard of back then. I instinctively recognized it as something great.

Like I said before, I played all of the Zelda games up to that point in time; although, I never did actually get to experience one to it’s fullest extent. My cousin however, owned A Link To The Past, and Link’s Awakening. Judging by how much he raved about them, I knew going in that this game would be fun. I borrowed the game, and about two weeks later my friend brought back the game I let him borrow as collateral. I asked him if I could have more time with his game, and he just told me to keep it, so I kept it. To this day, receiving Link’s Awakening has truthfully been one of the best gifts I have ever been given; despite the evidently clear ignorance of the giver.

I guess you can say that Link’s Awakening hit me hard at just the right time. I was entering into middle school. I would encounter new friends, enemies, and crushes. I would face the educational adversities given by my new grades academic standards, and I would have to try my hardest to survive and find my place in that mess of a jungle. Looking back, the change seemed colossal. I got through it fine, but things were easier for me because of Link’s Awakening. It was my way of escaping reality. To a point, I think this is why I may have felt so fondly attached to it.