SUPER HAPPY FUN MOVIE TIME #10: Speed Racer

By Mr.Death (Known as Death GoGoGo in Japan)

I wasn’t a huge Speed Racer fan as a kid, but I did enjoy watching the show every now and then. So when a Speed Racer movie came out, I was pretty apathetic on the matter. Then the trailer came out. Way way way too colorful for my tastes. I know your trying to pay homage to the cartoon, but can you be a little more subtle? So Saturday night, as a went into the movie theater, my choices were Speed Racer or Made of Honor. I quickly picked Speed Racer. So is it worth seeing, or should you GoGoGo to a different movie?

Misc. Media - Mother’s Day

by Beeslo

(Yeah, he’s doing two back to back…ya wanna fight about it?)

Thought I’d quickly throw this video out there for Mother’s Day. I send it to my mom every year and she always gets a kick out of it. That’s it for me for the rest of the day, swearsies!

Misc. Media - Refacing Government Tender

by Beeslo

(Likes old school media, ya know, the type like pictures and stuff)

Hey all! Happy Mother’s Day! Did you get your mom a gift or card? If not, you can whip up one quickly and all it will cost you is $1 (well maybe $5, $10 or $20, depending on how much you love her). Nothing says “I Love You,” like Andrew Jackson screaming out:

The following is one of 75 bills that this man has “refaced” to most times, hilarious results. Make sure to see the rest of them HERE!

Outpatient Article - Under The Knife: Abenobashi (Vol. 3)

by Volpeculus
(Expect Vol. 4 soon!)

Via the GooTube, of course.

ARUMI: Yeah, but that outfit is totally dumb…

SASSHI: STOP SAYIN’ THAT! Now listen carefully: this is an excellent costume based on geomancy and mystical physics! Its first awesome feature is the number of paper dolls you can carry with ya at all times–50! That’s an amazing 1.5 times the amount of previous costumes…. What’s more, you get the Demon’s Gate and Rear Demon’s Gate at your disposal, plus this all-directional gyroscope comes standard. Not only that, the size is adjustable, and extra urethane makes this baby completely airtight! Wait, hold the phone… it’s even reversible! [Awkward Pause] ARUMI, WAKE UP!!!

ARUMI: Alright, alright, I get it. So now you’re an honest-to-God Omryou mystic, right? Well how about shakin’ a leg and gettin’ us back to our own world?!

SASSHI: Well, uh, I could, but…

–No Sale in Abenobashi

Volume 3 sees Abenobashi Magical Shopping Arcade¹ hit its stride once more, not only in comedy, but in heartbreaking tragedy as well. **SPOILER:** Yes, Grandpa Masa is actually dead from his fall in Volume 1. **SPOILER:** Ms. Munemune (whom Sasshi crassly refers to as “that boobalicious babe”) is, in reality, his grandmother. If there was ever a time to use my “THE TRAP” tag, it would be now.

Look, without getting into specifics, Eutus is in fact the original Mr. Abeno, a powerful 10th-century expert in the purported science of “Omryou mysticism” and the space-time architect of the Abenobashi Shopping Arcade. Since Omryou mystics are in the business of diverting horrific fates, we learn that the entire reason the shopping arcade was built on these grounds (and the only reason all this gobbledygook continues to happen) is to avoid past-Masa from killing himself and past-Munemune once he finds out the affair she and past-Abeno have attempted. Thus, when the shopping arcade was built in like the 1950s or something, Abeno, Masa, and Munemune were reincarnated around its construction. Thus, the events of Episode 7 are explained. Got all that?

Apparently, this all justifies why various friends and relatives of Sasshi keep on showing up in the young lad’s wacky dreamworlds: as an Omryou mystic lite, he has been attempting to deny the impending fates of both Arumi moving away to Hokkaido² and Masa’s tragic fall to his death. With all the cast and characters assembled by Abeno for his original purpose, Sasshi has plenty of material to work with as he inadvertently warps reality into various shopping arcade “worlds.”

Phew!

Anyway, that’s basically what happens before they converge with wacky satire once more in Episode 10, a conventional parody of the easily lampooned “magical girl” genre.³ Whoops, almost forgot about Episode 8, this gloriously bizarre send-up of not only dating sims, but a classic revelation of Arumi’s jealousy of Sasshi and her pervasive hatred of the worlds that are inevitably for only his pleasure and no one else’s… High drama fer shure, I know. Some have sniped at what they view as an overwrought mythology behind the series, but hey, I like my dark drama and high comedy mixed together as closely as possible. In sum, this critical mass definitely qualifies as grounds for an A+. Congratulations, Abenobashi: you just accrued an Epic Win.

Final Grade: A+.

¹ Say that three times fast.
² Apparently they haven’t discovered e-mail yet.
³ “Where’d you get this flimsy outfit?” “At a thrift store! But that’s not important now!”

Outpatient Article - News of the Now Ambulance Edition: Ign’s got the new X-Files Trailer while G4tv’s Got A tech News Netcast and this is the longest title ever.

By Rayjay

(Saw Fools Gold at the $1.50 Theater, Thinks Kate Hudson is hot in a Bikini)

Hello all You Ambulance Chasers!! I’m Here with more stories from The Interweb. one story is About a New Netcast on G4tv.com that is like Rocketboom. The next story is about were to Catch the X-Files 2 movie Trailer.

From The World of IGN.com

ign will be the exclusive place for the X-Files 2 Movie Trailer

Yes You heard Right! on May 12 IGN will be the only site on the web with The X-Files 2 Trailer. Well this is a no brainer. Since News Corp The owners of Fox (The Studio That Makes X-Files) owns IGN Why not make the Trailer Ign Exclusive? You would think The Trailer Would be my Space Exclusive any way.

—————————————————————————————

From The World of G4tv.com

G4tv.com Releases Tech News Countdown Netcast

With Leo Laporte Going to internet Tv (the Lab his TV show in Canada was Cancelled), Revision 3 Becoming an IPTV Power House, and Morgan Webb making a lot of visitors with her Webb alert show. You would think There Former Employer (Morgan webb’s Current Employer (She Still host’s X-Play with Adam Sessler) G4tv Would not try to Compete with them? But They are with this new Netcast called The G4 tech News Countdown. The Host Alison Haislip (one of the new Attack of the Show Reporters) Counts down the top Tech news of the week. The thing that drives me crazy about this netcast is for one thing this show is a way to tell tech fans watch cops, Second the host has a weird Resemblance to former Attack of the show host, and Current Revision 3 Producer Sarah Lane. No offence to the Alison’s of the world (My Wifes Name is Allison). But This G4 Tech news host is a flop. I Wish we still had G4 Tech Tv.

This is rayjay saying Good Night and Good Luck

Outpatient Article - Misc. Media: Cobra’s Yes We Shall

By Rayjay

( Is over worked, and underpayed)

in this edition of Misc media we look at a Parody by G4tv of Obama’s yes we can. The Song was written by Jonathan Mann (AKA Game Jew) and there are appearances by: Mann, several G4tv host’s and even Kel from Kennan and Kel Fame.

For your Interest Jonathan mann also wrote the music for the X-play Musical. To watch what other songs he has wrote? Visit his his Site.

Outpatient Article - Under The Knife: Abenobashi (Vol. 2)

by Volpeculus
(Reviews Anime Through Youtube)

Via YouTube.

MASA: Aw, come on, don’t you have a sympathetic bone in your body?

BANK TELLER: No, sir, I don’t.

–Pithy Exchange in Abenobashi

I was all set to review this and give it my highest honors.

But that would be if Episode 8 were included. And since it’s not, well, I’ll have to mark off a few points. Tough.

Episode 5, involving a Tex Avery-esque chase scene in Neanderthal times or something, was a noticeably weak point in my opinion. Granted, they did choose to steal from the best with Avery, but things just didn’t cohere as wondrously as they could–and some rather grating sexual humor and cartoon violence didn’t help. Also, for those with Internet access and ability to Google… what’s with Sasshi’s view of his aunt? Honestly, the events of this episode involving both Sasshi’s aunt and the enigmatic Ms. Munemune are somewhat of a beatdown, I think.

Anyway, Episode 6 involves a witty send-up of American gangster flicks (where “the Snail Prohibition” is still in full force), with Episode 7 giving us that sweet melancholic elixir of pure drama. Heck, isn’t that how life feels sometimes… surreal comedy bracketed by sadness? Also, Ms. Munemune is revealed to be… uh… more directly related to Sasshi than previously thought. I don’t know exactly how the writers will deal with this situation, but in any case, it will be quite an exercise in narratorial finagling.

I’ll try to keep Episode 8 out of my mind as I review, but suffice it to say that this section “prepares for great things to come” (lame phrase, ain’t it?). This review is shorter than usual simply because this three-episode slice wasn’t as impacting as the former or the latter. Here’s to completing the set.

Final Grade: B+.

Under the Knife GTA Special- Special Nitpick review

By Kaiserhawk

(He really did like this game)

Since everyone, their mum, and their dog have already bought, played, got the t-shirt and seen the film adaptation of GTAIV there really isn’t much point in reviewing it, it’s GTA goodness with a next gen look. Yeah sure things have been revamped like combat, wanted system and other stuff as well as carrying over and improving the dating from San Andreas (Getting fat to attract Barbara lol) but while IV is being lauded as if it were the Video game messiah I thought it would be interesting to knock it down a peg…or two.

Retro Unknown presents Sierra Classics that Time Forgot - Part III - Gold Rush!

by Beeslo

(There’s gold in them there hills!!!)

I know its been a long time since Part II, but with the release of GTA IV (which I’ll be doing a Retro Review of in 20 years) and other personal matters, I had to put this article on the back burner. But that was then and this is now, so I proudly present Part III of…

Ah, another classic Sierra text adventure presented in 3-D!!! Well perhaps thats not exactly right. Very much in the same vein as King’s Quest, this is what was considered 3-D gameplay back in the day. Back in 1988, we got our history lessons from not a teacher, what do they know? But from a computer game made by Sierra Online. Granted there was one and only one topic we could learn about considering only one game was made but none the less, as children we all were very well versed in the time period that was the…

This game was indeed a sleeper hit at its time and has since faded away, being overshadowed by other Sierra classics released at that time like King’s Quest IV. But like Codename: ICEMAN (which we looked at last time), this game was overly complicated at times falling on you to know certain protocols that were followed in 1848. At times this game makes you think of Oregon Trail (anyone old enough to remember that one?) especially when the game makes you plan out your trip to California and securing supplies for the journey. Set out into the frontier without a certain piece of equipment, well you will be screwed my friend. Think you can make it all the way to California without running into masked thieves who wish to pillage you of all your goods, well look at the freakin’ game box and you can plainly see that that is a possibility. But all is not so complicated. In fact the game does a pretty good job operating like the other Sierra adventure games of the time. For 1988, the graphics and animations in this game were some of the best and the music was pretty great too (well, music generated by the PC…this was before Sound Cards, people).

Honestly, this game is a good example of the adventure games of old, much before that new fangled point and click interface came into being. It was games like this that not only expanded your mind as far as history went but also improved your vocabulary and typing skills. Heck, I learned to read and write partly because of these types of games and this game was one of the first instances I learned of the “gold rush” period. If you can find this game or other Sierra classics like it, I highly recommend you play them. They are worth every moment.

Stay tunes for Part IV…. (which will be next week, swearsies!)

News of the Now: Lord of the Rings: Conquest is Announced

By Kaiserhawk
(OMG He was right for once)

A while back over on Gamefaqs there was a subforum for a game titled “Lord of the Rings Pandemic Project (working title)” and straight away I made a joke topic about this being Lord of the Rings Battlefront due to same developers and how many fans compare the movies. However little did I suspect that I would be right…kinda. You see while the game basically IS LotR Battlefront it is called LotR Conquest. Expected for a fall release I’m going to guess that it’ll be pushed back so you should not get your hopes up.

Essentially the game takes place on the different battles withing the “War of the Ring” conflict. Battles such as Helms Deep, Minas Tirith, Osgiliath ect. Also like Battlefront is numerous different classes like Trooper, Heavy, Engineer ect, but here I’m going to assume that they’ll change the names to a more fantasy based class. Also announced as well were playable heroes and villains from Frodo to Sauron and all in between.

While some battlefields have been announced it is unknown if Pandemic will include some of the lesser known battles in the epic conflict such as the war in the north.

For more info visit the official website

http://pandemicstudios.com/conquest/

and the announcment on IGN

http://uk.xbox360.ign.com/articles/872/872403p1.html

I myself am intrigued by this title, and while I still consider Star Wars Battlefront and it’s sequel to be great games I think it’ll be interesting to see the formula used with a fantasy based genre instead of a Sci-Fi one.